Coaching Moment: When the past matters
When establishing a coaching contract, clarifying the distinction between coaching and counseling is important. I disclose that I hold a Master of Science degree in Professional Counseling; however, I am not licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor of Mental Health (LPCMH) in the state of Delaware. This is because my career post-graduation did not allow me to acquire the necessary supervised hours while working full-time in my case management position. Consequently, it is essential for me to explicitly communicate that I function as a coach rather than a counselor to prevent any misunderstandings.
The Distinction
The distinction between coaching and counseling lies in their respective approaches to mental health issues. Counseling delves into an individual's past to understand the underlying causes of their mental health problems and to develop coping strategies for future improvement. In contrast, coaching is forward-looking, focusing on establishing goals and strategies for the next steps in personal development. Coaching can complement the progress made through mental health counseling by providing guidance on continuing growth beyond the scope of therapy.
Although the distinction may appear clear-cut, even coaching necessitates a consideration of historical context. The adage "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" is frequently attributed to George Santayana, a Spanish-American philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist. This quote appears in his book "The Life of Reason, or The Phases of Human Progress," published in 1905. Similar variations of this quotation have been attributed to other notable figures such as Edmund Burke and Winston Churchill. It remains a pertinent concept that continues to resonate with individuals today. In twelve-step programs, a related mantra asserts, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result," which may be seen as an extension of Santayana's observation.
Consequences
A significant problem with reflecting on the past is self-criticism for our actions. This approach often leads to unnecessary expenditure of energy and emotion. However, it is crucial to understand that many share this experience. Films such as "It's a Wonderful Life" or television series with segments like “[Person’s Name], This is Your Life," provide valuable perspectives on the importance of the past. The past serves as a blueprint for our current circumstances. Reflecting excessively on a single decision that could have changed the trajectory of one's life is counterproductive. Focusing on what is perceived as one's most significant mistakes does not contribute to personal growth. Another error of similar magnitude would likely have occurred at a later time. When faced with this idea, I say: "The one absolute truth I know is about the past. You can't change it; you can only learn and move on."
The Learning Process
The most significant aspect of past mistakes is the lessons they impart. How do we evolve and progress? Therapy enables us to address the pain, the grief, and the repercussions of our errors. Coaching assists us in making necessary changes and advancing forward. There is some overlap between these two processes, so some clients may engage a coach as their therapy concludes. Regardless of where you are in your journey, I am dedicated to assisting you in reassembling the pieces and moving forward.